Thanks to everyone who entered the Spring competition!
The winner was Miss Molly Froude from Lichfield, for supplying us with these 10 music themed jokes beginning with the letter 'W', which won the staff vote.
1. What number of folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Six: one to change it and another five sing about how good the old one was
2. Why is a viola similar to a law suit?
Everyone is relieved when the case is closed
3. What is the difference between a rock player and a jazz player?
A rock player plays three chords in front of three thousand people and a jazz player plays three thousand chords in front of three people
4. What is the difference between a banjo and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo
5. Winifred and Marge are in a music store. Winifred is looking at the ukulele Marge is holding. Marge notices and says, "I got this for my husband."
Winifred nods in apporval and says, "Good trade."
6. Why are the Beatles like the viola section in an orchestra?
Neither have played together since 1970
7. When you are lost in the woods you hear a good whistle player, a bad whistle player and Father Christmas. Who do you ask for directions?
The bad whistle player. The other two were just hallucinations
8. What is the difference between a dead chicken in the road and a dead trombonist in the road?
There is a slim chance the chicken was on the way to a gig
9. Why is a conductor like a condom?
It's safer with but more fun without
10. Why are music jokes so short?
So the bass player has a slim chance of understanding
We also have two runners up, who will each receive a Dixon Trad D whistle.
Michael Booth of Canterbury, for these 10 things you might find at a pub session beginning with 'S'
1) Susato Oriole Whistles (shameless product placement!)
2) Scottish Sets,
5) Speeding up (and up and up...)
6) Several too many Spoons
7) Stout (a few pints of)
8) Slow airs
9) Soulful Singing,
10) Some more Spoons...
and Les Ireland from Kirkintilloch for these 10 suggested song lyrics beginning with an 'L'
1) Look the hero comes towards me...........
2) Listen, he speaks, his voice a-thunder.....
3) Look, look I, deep into his eye.....
4) Love has won, we wed tomorrow.........
5) Look, the ring is cheap and nasty...........
6) Look I into his wallet, empty.......
7) Lazy sod, he has no job...........
8) Late he comes, he's been out shagging......
9) Listerine it aint, weed killer is tasteless.....
10) Look I into his grave rejoicing......